Chapter Twenty Six

Another shortie. Unfortunately time constraints are conspiring against me at the moment. I have to fit these chapters in around my other work. Ugh.

 This one was fairly easy to write. Sometimes characters come easily to me, this was one of those times. It makes a nice change from struggling with characters' mental processes and speech, deliberating over every word I write.

 That little snippet at the end is one of my favourite moments so far (although Chapter 19 still stands as my favourite overall). The Master's insanity is something I understand quite well, but putting it into words on a page can be difficult. The Doctor, however, is the perfect person to vocalise that. He can say it so much better than I ever could.

 I always feel a bit odd about letting characters cry. With some characters it feels like I'm forcing them into emotions they wouldn't normally feel. The Doctor is the exception: he cried on numerous occasions (a very manly cry, I might add). While other people might feel that this is a bit melodramatic, in my opinion it's completely in character. He's a sensitive guy, and watching someone who means so much to you kill millions of people in a fit of madness is enough to make even the most manly man weep like a baby.

 I'm rather glad to say that we're getting slowly back into Master/Doctor territory now. The next chapter should bring to an end the public display of insanity and move us back into the relationship between the two.

 Thank you, guys, for reading all my weird little rants so far. Sometimes it's nice to just talk about the fanfiction - if I wrote all this in footnotes, people would get very very pissed off. You're welcome to PM me, leave comments etc. if you want to ask me anything, or just have a chat - I don't bite.

Link to the chapter is here: Chapter 26

Editing Chapter 24

So I went back and re-wrote the scene between Jack and the Doctor. It was horribly short, and I felt uncomfortable leaving it so 'empty'.

 This little argument was coming eventually, anyway. I just wasn't sure where to put it before. Now, though, I think it fits quite well. It adds a bit of substance to the relationship between them - up until now, Jack has been a bit quiet. He may be traumatised, but he's still Jack.

The rewritten version is now live and available here: Lost Boys Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Five

Ah, bondage. What is a good slash fanfiction without bondage?

Another short chapter, but thankfully nowhere near as short as the last one. The Doctor and the Master needed a moment. They've been at each other's throats for several chapters, so it's a good reminder that not all is what it seems, even if it is a little twisted.

Personally, I think that the Master has a thing about degrading the Doctor to make himself feel more superior - for example in The End of Time when he's strapped him into that chair, and turning him into an old man in The Sound of Drums. I'm also pretty sure there's a lot of internal conflict on the Master's part about just what the Doctor means to him - is he an equal or just someone else to mess with? A lot of the Master's madness is self-destructive and conflicting, hence the mood swings: Part of him knows he's in the fast lane to hell, but the other half of him embraces it. It's only when the Doctor is added to the mix that he starts to question what he's doing, which is why he's always trying to keep him quiet.

 Anyway. Yes. Updates.

 Updates - as you've probably guessed by now - are sporadic and random. I can't guarantee when the next chapter will be up. It all depends on when I have free time (or the obsession to write this drives out everything else).

 Please do leave a review when you read. I hate to admit it, but my fanfiction tends to... lose its fire if people don't let me know what they think. I know I say it all the time, but: they really do help. It's nice to hear from people who are reading, it means I'm not alone.

See you next chapter!

Turkaholic

Chapter Twenty Four

I'm sorry this is so short. I don't like posting really short chapters, it makes me feel bad; but as of tomorrow I really have to start on uni work, and I wanted to upload this moment. I hate having half-finished chapters sitting on my desktop.

 Jack and 'future' Doctor still have their own plot to work through (not a romantic one, don't worry), so I keep having to step back from the main plot to address them. Sometimes I hate having to do it, but occasionally - like this scene - it's nice to take a break from the madness that is life with the Master, and work with Jack, who is a lot more grounded.

 I don't really have a lot to say about this - it is a horribly short chapter - but I like to have moments where the Doctor is... well... the Doctor, and not being mentally barraged by the Master's insanity.

 If you've followed a link from AFF or FF, thanks for reading, and sticking with me so far. If you've stumbled on this blog and would like to read what I've got so far, you can find it here: Lost Boys on Fanfiction.net
(Homosexuality, violence, and sex await you on the other side of that link. Don't like, don't touch!)

 Oh, and just as a teaser: next chapter will have handcuffs (no I'm not kidding).

Lost Boys - Chapter Twenty Two/ Three

Since this was one single scene, I didn't want to write two separate entries about it. I split it into two for dramatic effect (besides which, it would have been horribly long if I'd simply posted it as one).

 Before you ask - yes, there will be more sex in this story, but let me tell it my way, ok? I know what I'm doing... sometimes.

 This was a bit of a struggle. I've gotten into the habit now of writing the Doctor and the Master alone, but suddenly there were five voices to address, each one of them important. I'm sorry to say that Tish was the one that suffered because of this. I simply didn't have enough time or room to include her greatly in the conversation, which is a shame: she's the one person in this scene who is actually on the Doctor's 'side'.

 Bringing the Doctor and the Master out of their little bubble had to be done. If I'd been writing a short, pwp scene then I wouldn't have gone down this road, but I'm writing about the whole year, here. While I can't help but see the Master as a sympathetic character, considering where his madness came from, I'm also acutely aware of the fact that the Master's dark, almost nihilistic side needs addressing if I'm going to represent him accurately. The Doctor, too, needed to show his strengths, since they've been so absent in the first two phases of the story. It's all about balance.

 It took much longer for us to get up those steps and look out of the window than I'd expected. Maybe I spent a bit too much time in conversation, but I needed it to flow coherently. Besides, it's fun to see the characters interact in public for a change.

Characterisation bothers me a lot. I spend a lot of time thinking about what the characters would really say in certain situations, which almost makes me tear my hair out. Sometimes you just have to plunge forward and hope for the best, or nothing would ever get written.

 I know there were some who were expecting this fic to be nothing but sex scenes, but I'm sorry - that's not the way I work. I write about characters. Yes, ok, I write sex and romance too, but it's the characters that count. And if I had kept the Doctor and the Master cooped up in that room for the whole story, it would have gotten repetitive and boring. It would have also been insulting to the Doctor's character to keep him as the Master's submissive pet. He's so much more than that, and the Master knows it.


Anyway, forgive the rant. Sometimes I feel like I need to explain what I'm doing, since I write in a style that I hardly ever see on fanfiction websites (that's not putting other fics down, it's just that I know I write differently). One thing that irks me about fanfiction websites is that they generally only let you post two genres (For example: Lost Boys is registered as 'Romance/Tragedy') when in fact things are so much more complex than that. Actually, the whole genre thing is a bit irritating. Good stories are good stories, no matter what they're pidgeon-holed as.

 Moving on, the burning of Japan is a turning point (for... reasons. Spoilers, sweetie), so we needed it in there. I like to keep my stories fairly canon, and we know for a fact that this happened.

 The Master and the Doctor will get more of their moments, I promise. Just let me revel in the Master's insanity for a while longer.

Turkaholic

Lost Boys - Chapter Twenty One

Now that was fun. I can't deny I get swept up in the Master's pure insane joy when I write him in this mood. I feel like I've had about 20 shots of espresso.

 ...My insanity aside, I enjoyed this chapter for several reasons:

• We get to see Francine and Tish Jones. I loved Martha's dysfunctional family. I wanted to include them more in the Year that Never Was, since we know they, too, had a rather traumatic year. I also always liked the fact that the Doctor could never charm Francine the way he could other people. Tension (not sexual, thankfully) between those two will continue for a while longer.
• We get to see more of Lucy. So far we've not seen much of her. While she doesn't have much speech (her husband has enough to say for both of them) we do at least get to see her interacting with the Master as a wife. Lucy's character sometimes gets ignored by fanfiction, since she's quiet and sort of gets drowned out by the charisma of the Master. Nonetheless, she's a brilliantly interesting character: complex and disturbed. Let's face it, though: if you'd seen the human race cannibalise themselves at the end of time, you'd be rather disturbed too. I always thought of her as the anti-Martha; just like the Doctor and the Master are polar opposites. Lucy will play a large part in things to come (expected and unexpected) so it's about time we began to see more of her.
• We're finally free of that little white room for a while!
• The Master's domination of Earth takes centre stage!

I'm really glad I'm getting to write the characters in conflict for a while again. There's something just a little bit glorious about the Master and the Doctor when they go head-to-head. It doesn't change how they feel, but it puts across the point that what is going on between them isn't simple or easy. It's tough, complex and nearly a millennium old.

 There is still a great deal for me to write before this is done, but with November fast approaching my head is full of deadlines, and this is going to slow my writing down enormously. Christmas holidays should see me speed up once more, but until then please be patient and leave me reviews if you can! I read them all, and they mean a lot.

 In the meantime, thank you so much for the support you've given me so far. Bear with me - if I can write this story well, it should be:

If you've followed a link from FF or AFF, thank you so much for looking. If you've stumbled on this blog, and would like to read the story, you can find it here: Lost Boys on Fanfiction.net
 (Please be aware this has graphic sexual content, homosexuality and violence. If that's not your thing, fair enough, don't click!)


Also, this might be a good time to address something that bothers me:
This fanfiction is in no way about sexualising David Tennant or John Simm. What I'm writing is a testament to two characters, played by two magnificent actors who I hold in extremely high regard for what they did (and are still doing - being brillant at their jobs). I appreciate that Tennant and Simm are not the Doctor and the Master, but they brought them to life in a way that absolutely enthralled me. What I'm writing is out of love for the characters they played. That they happen to be the faces I imagine on the characters doesn't mean I can't distinguish between the two. If you ever meet one of these amazing gentlemen, make sure you give them the love (not too much - don't be creepy!) and respect they deserve.

Love, Turks and Timelords

Turkaholic x

Lost Boys - Chapter 20

A short burst of exposition, but needed to clarify a few things before the story moves on. The next phase of the story takes us (finally) outside that little white room, and pushes us back into the Master's insane domination of Earth, so adding this just backs up a few points about the Master's mental state to bear in mind as we move on.

 Sometimes I get so far into my characters' heads that I forget that some things need to be explained. To me, the Doctor and the Master - their connection and what goes on in their heads - is so clear that I feel like they should be self-explanatory. Adding little snippets like this amends that problem to an extent.

While I have an extremely firm grip on my plotline, and know almost definitely where I want it to go, details of the scenes grow in my head slowly. When the scene's finished in my head, I get the urge to write it down immediately. This is why this scene is so short (sorry about that), since the scene after this one hasn't developed. I would rather post a short, well-developed scene than struggle with a long, unplanned one.

See you all next chapter!

Lost Boys - Interlude II

"It's not about the sex, is it?"

 No it's not. It never has been, for me. I don't write so that I can manoeuvre characters into a situation where they have sex. When you're writing about the connection between two characters - male or female - sex is generally part of that connection. In fact as far as characters like the Master or Tseng are concerned, it's one of the rare occasions when we get to see something other than what they show to the world at large. While I admit the Master presents me trickier material to work with - he is, after all, still insane - if I'd skipped out on the sex scenes we would never have seen those slight differences. Jack's right - it's not about the sex itself (even if I do take a vast amount of glee in writing the dirty bits) it's about seeing that connection on a visceral level. How people interact in the bedroom can be completely different to how they interact in public, as is the case in Lost Boys.

But I'm rambling. The second interlude brings to a close the second phase of the story. The idea of including 'future' Doctor and Jack was a necessity, but I'm hoping it worked: if I had simply stuck to the 'main' plot, I don't think it would have been as effective. We needed an outside view to make sense of what was happening, since a lot of what happens/ has happened between the two Timelords is unspoken. Both of them are far too stoic to admit a lot of what happens.

I hadn't originally wanted it to be Jack. When I first thought about writing the story, I'd imagined the story being explained to Donna, who (even if she'd slapped him first) would have been a bit more understanding. (Apart from Rose, Donna was the only person who the Doctor ever 'talked' to properly - See 'The Doctor's Daughter' for what I'm on about). When it came to writing it, though, bringing back Donna would have taken far too much explanation and would have detracted from the main plot. Jack was the next best thing, especially post-Torchwood Jack. The loss of Ianto gave me feels, yaknow? And after Ianto, I feel that Jack would be a lot less loud, and a lot more sympathetic with what he was seeing.

The scenes in the TARDIS also give me (and the characters) breathing space - a chance for some exposition that won't pull us out of the memories we're watching. Some stuff needs clarifying - like the Master's drums, the effect of the Archangel Network, and Jack's thoughts, which we don't have much time to consider during the memories.

The next chapter will probably be a little while. Not too long, but certainly not within the next few days. Deadlines loom for uni work, and I need to get out of the Master's/ Doctor's head and back into my own. In the meantime, I can't over-exaggerate the importance to me of receiving reviews. They mean so much - always have, and always will. I don't get paid for writing fanfiction, but the best payment I could ever hope for are reviews from the readers.

 On a vaguely related note, I have an incredibly visual imagination, and often think about what my stories would look like on screen. Music is a massive motivator for this. I even think about trailers, and how they'd look and sound. At the moment, if I was to make a trailer for Lost Boys, the music would most definitely be Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Lorde. The words are almost perfect for what I've got in mind. I recommend it in any case. Amazing song.

 Thanks for reading. If you've followed a link from AFF or FF, thanks so much for your support. If you'd like to read Lost Boys, you can find it here: Lost Boys on Fanfiction.net

I'll see you all next chapter!

Lost Boys - Chapter Nineteen

This just goes to show you how bizarrely polar my reactions to my writing can be. Last chapter was painful to write. This one - which I'd never even planned to put in - felt right from the moment I started typing it.

This is my favourite chapter so far: The Master and the Doctor, having one of those rare little moments where they actually talk about their past. I'm a little bit in love with it, even if I do say so myself.

 The conversation seemed to flow out of nowhere, like it sometimes does. The Master and the Doctor in conversation excites me more than the sex scenes sometimes. Maybe that makes me odd; but these are the chapters that make me want to write. Those moments when the characters just spark off each other. It makes my little black heart jump in elation.

 I did, however, feel bad that there was no Jack and 'future' Doctor snippet in this scene, but I didn't want to break the flow. Jack will be back in the next chapter.

 I have nothing else really to say about this chapter, except for two things:

• I wrote this chapter entirely to the track 'I Believe in Him' from the Torchwood OST. Depending on how you perceive the scene it might not suit, but it suited the mood perfectly for me. I highly recommend the Torchwood OST as writing music, anyway.
• This is the end of the 'second' phase of the story, which makes it a perfect time to take a break. The next chapter won't be up until the weekend. Uni work has to take priority, unfortunately.

If you've come here from FF or AFF, thanks for reading this, and sticking with me so far.
If you've stumbled on this blog and would like to read it, you can find it here: Lost Boys on Fanfiction.net
(Sex, Homosexuality and Violence. Don't say I didn't warn you.)

Lost Boys - Chapter Eighteen

This was a difficult one. The characters were in such strange mental states that putting realistic words into their mouths was painful. We'd just had a sex scene that was pretty much wordless, and it seemed about time we had some more of that Doctor/Master talk. The trouble was: what would the Master honestly say?

 He's crazy
 He's sadistic
 He's confused
 He's in love

 ....and about a billion other emotions which I couldn't even begin to describe.

 I tried writing him as dominant and mocking. It didn't fit. He'd just saved the Doctor's mind, after all, even if it was in a very undignified way. Having him loving and tender would have sent shudders up my spine. If anything could be out of character, it would be that.

 So where to go? How do you show that the Master actually cares, without turning him into something disgustingly un-Masterly?

 Besides which, the Doctor had been too submissive for too long - doing as he was told. Okay, to a point, but it was time for a turnaround: he was back on his feet, back in a sane state of mind, ready to fight again. How to make him react to what he had just done?

 I went for the middle ground.

 The Master was dominating, but vulnerable. The Doctor got his speech, indicating a turnaround, and the confusion in the Master showed he actually gave a flying toss. The end of the chapter got re-written at least six times, purely to get the right expression and tone in the Master's face and voice. It went from sadness to mocking, and finally that ambivalent little flyaway comment: "We're going for a walk."

 My rule of thumb with the Master and the Doctor is: if you can't imagine the words in their own voice, it's out of character. This applies to a lot of TV and film fanfiction. The intonation, the expression, everything has to be as if the actors playing it were there. (This doesn't generally apply to sex scenes, but even then I tend to imagine a bit too explicitly, sounds and all. I'm not sure Tennant and Simm would approve. Oh well.). Getting that last line right was a nightmare. Five little words took me about half an hour. Ugh.


 I really hope I made the right decision. The next chapter is still ghosting around in my head. It's an extra that I never intended to write, but it seemed appropriate: the Doctor has been stuck in that room far too long. He needs a change of scenery, and the Master needs to get back into his beautifully twisted 'normal' state of mind.


If you've not read it and you'd like to, you can find it here: Lost Boys on Fanfiction.net
(Please be aware that there are scenes of graphic sex, homosexuality and violence. If that's not your thing, why are you even here?)
If you've followed a link from FF or AFF, then thanks for reading my anxious little rant. I hope reading this hasn't been too much of a waste of your time.

Welcome

This blog is new. Brand-spanking new. I've been writing fanfiction for over ten years, and never found an outlet for the frustration; the agony; the absolute awe-inspiring bliss that comes with a new chapter.

 Think I'm exaggerating? I'm not. Taking borrowed characters - either from screen, game or book - and making them act, walk and talk like the real thing inspires everything from anger and misery, to manic laugh-out-loud enthusiasm. Maybe that's just me, but I can't help wondering if anybody else out there feels the same way.

 The blog I'm starting here means that I now have an outlet for this, and hopefully a readership that understands - or will understand - the paradoxes (or is it paradoxi?) that come with taking borrowed characters and putting words in their mouth. The basic problem with this should be obvious: when you write with someone else's characters, you're playing with fire. You're putting words into their mouths, actions into their hands, that have never been seen before. I find myself constantly and frustratingly asking myself: 'is this in character? Would Reno/ The Doctor / whoever honestly say that?'

 The trouble is that there is nobody to answer that question. Characters are fairly liquid. What (let's say it's the Doctor, since that's what I'm working on now) the Doctor says; how he reacts to a situation is just one of several, wildly different reactions he could possibly have. When the Master walks into the room, does the Doctor stay silent? Does he get frustrated? Does he make one of those oh-so-wordy speeches and try to convince the Master that what he's doing is wrong? All are plausible, and we only get to make one choice. I've rewritten scenes of 2000 painfully thought out words and replaced them with a piffling 700 just because of this. I've written the same chapter five times, with the Doctor's mental states as far apart as furious and completely broken. Hovering over the 'upload' button can take minutes of consternation.

 Therefore, this blog - at least for now - will be acting as an anguish-breaker. If that means that I have to weep over my keyboard, and write about how painful it was to write the last chapter, so be it. Whether it interests other people or not depends on whether you write fanfiction, or read my stories. Maybe this is a pompous thing to do, but I honestly have a passion for fanfiction, and having this outlet will make it that much easier; and my choices in my stories easier to understand, for anyone who is interested.